January 2010
36 posts
(205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
(1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
(205): This explains so much.
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I hate having to compete with a friend for the...
Justin: I was getting ready to take a shower but I thought I should try to get you to stop talking to Jeff first.
Helen: Don't you dare think about him while in there.
Justin: I have a picture of his abs in my shower.
Helen: Goddamnit.
“I’m gonna go get drunk now. Expect a drunk text from me :] Love you.”
– How everyone should say their goodbyes to me.
soomeaty: moans
dogcmp6: what
soomeaty: wrong box
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Conan's final show is tomorrow.
Jesus, take the wheel.
My dad's second year of owning a laptop.
Dad: Can you get rid of this? (Points to the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button on Google)
Helen: ...What?
Dad: I didn't have this before!
Helen: Oh. (Changes his homepage from Google to the Mozilla Firefox Start Page)
Dad: (Notices the button missing) Yeah! It's working faster already, I can tell!
Helen: No. That button had absolutely nothing to do with your browser's speed.
Dad: NO. I'm pretty sure it was that button.
Helen: ._.
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Goddamn, this tumblr might as well be called "Jeff...
BECAUSE THAT IS ALL I EVER TALK ABOUT ANYWAYS.
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Yesterday he dropped off Starbucks, today he drops...
At this rate, I don’t think my bladder can handle it.
The stars have aligned and I must’ve pleased the Gods or some shit because the cosmic universe has obviously been working in my favor.
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I am coming after you, Leno. →
This means two things:
Conan’s final shows will likely have the most amazing guests.
People will visit The Tonight Show once Leno takes over and burn him in effigy.
Both events need to be graced by my presence.
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“Jeff Zucker is the Cheney of television, shooting shows in the face.”
– Jon Stewart
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I really need to see Conan in the flesh again...
I think that there may be a small teensy tiny chance that I quite possibly may perhaps really like someone.
Maybe, I don’t know, whatever.
Update: That sounded really lame, so I’m just gonna express this more eloquently and say that he gives me raging boners.
“If amazing was a young bitch, I’m going to jail cause I’m fucking amazing.”
– chelseakinne
HEY I THINK I'M FALLING FOR YOU. LET'S HOLD HANDS.
＼（＾∇＾）メ（＾∇＾）／
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School tomorrow.
-makemepunk:
Wan: I just really want a summer fling. Especially with a white man.
Helen: Be sure for a live-feed kthnx.
Helen: So when I text you, it could be like "Hey Wan, who are you doing?"
Helen: Get it. Because it's like "How are you doing" but implicating that you are a whore.
Wan: Yeah thanks. I got it.
6:06am
I think it’s safe to say that my sleeping cycle is officially fucked for the new school year since I’ve clearly gone nocturnal.
You know what was the first thing I did in 2010?
No, I didn’t keep track of the first song I heard/first person saw/first food I ate/etc.
I applied for FAFSA (financial aid) because I knew that’s when the online application became available.
Whatever, haters. It’s called being proactive. You call me a loser, I call me awesomely prepared. You say that I’m in denial of how sad my life is, I say shut the fuck up.
